Sadly, due to the California Supreme Court ruling upholding Proposition 8, not anymore--at least not for now. A new campaign to revise the California Constitution via the initiative process hopes to place marriage equality in front of voters in 2010, and federal lawsuits have now been filed with the aim of reinstating equal marriage rights. The CA Supremes also ruled that legal same-sex marriages performed before Prop 8 passed will remain valid.

We will keep you apprised of any new information we receive as the situation develops and we encourage you to support the efforts of Lambda Legal and The Courage Campaign to restore marriage equality to California.

On June 17th, 2008 I has the great privilege of serving as a Deputy Commissioner of Civil Marriage at the L.A. County Clerk's Norwalk office, witnessing and performing some of L.A. County's first same-sex ceremonies, and the honor of privately performing dozens of additional ceremonies right up until the passage of Prop 8. I am proud to have been part of this historic moment in California and national history, and we will continue to support civil rights efforts by RestoreEquality2010 and others who are working to obtain marriage rights for all.

We here at MarriageToGo have supported marriage equality for years and strongly believe that no religious or political organization has a patent on the concept of Love or a trademark on the word or definition of "marriage." Legal marriage is a civil right, and love should be confirmed, consecrated, and supported wherever it occurs. We remain committed to these principles and will continue to provide high-quality ceremonial services for all who wish to celebrate their loving relationships.

For more information on civil marriage rights for all (and to sign up to collect petition signatures for the 2010 ballot or make a donation) please visit LoveHonorCherish.org. If you'd like to read my Examiner.Com essays on same-sex marriages in California and elsewhere, please click here and look for the Same-Sex Weddings/Marriage Equality links (and please share these articles if you find them worthy.)

There are firms that will take your money to perform a wedding by phone and they'll tell you it's legally binding, but they're lying. Sorry, but all phone weddings are strictly illegal. You'll lose your money and have no legal recourse when your legally-married status is denied. Don't do it.

Click here for more information on fraudulent wedding services scams like phone marriage for military/incarcerated, how to obtain a legal proxy marriage for active service personnel, and reporting marriage fraud.


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Unlike many other states and county governments, California has no registry or permits for those who officiate weddings. This has the advantage of reducing government interference in faith practices, but leaves consumers no recourse if they end up choosing an unscrupulous or incompetent provider. It is very important to check an officiant's references and credentials before you hire, since there is no government regulation or agency screening potential candidates for you. I am shocked by how many officiants claim to have a "license" to perform ceremonies in California; it is untrue--no such license exists.

However, if your officiant is also a notary who will be issuing your marriage license, they must hold an authorization from the local County government and that can be verified by phone with the County's Marriage Licensing unit. Due to the high level of wedding fraud here in Los Angeles County, it's a good idea to call the County Clerk's office to confirm that the notary's marriage license authorization is legitimate and that no disciplinary actions for negligence or malfeasance are pending. A notary can only issue marriage licenses in the County where they reside, and L.A. County notaries may not issue licenses for the incarcerated.

MarriageToGo has an excellent reputation for providing legit, prompt and informed service, and we can back it up! We are happy to provide you with references from recent clients so you may speak with them about their experience, and we are also glad to provide contact information for the County's Notary Authorization Supervisor so you can verify credentials. We're confident you'll be able to confirm that MarriageToGo deserves its sterling reputation as a legitimate, conscientious, and properly authorized marriage license and officiant service, and we hope to continue earning your trust and regard throughout our client relationship.


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Beware! There are many wedding ministers in L.A. County who claim to be Justices of the Peace--that is, active or retired State judges or commissioners of the court who are empowered to perform weddings as civil officiants--who DO NOT hold those credentials! In order for an officiant to sign your marriage license as "JOP" they must have served in the State courts. If having a civil officiant is important to you, check your officiant's credentials carefully. In our experience, real judges love performing weddings because it's about the only fun they get to have.

Since many more couples are seeking non-religious ceremonies, many think they will be more comfortable with someone who is credentialed as a civil officiant and they would prefer not to have a "religious" signature on their marriage license. As a result, there are some officiants who claim--either knowingly and fraudulently, or out of ignorance of state law--that they are Justices of the Peace and can sign a marriage license that way. Again, the only person who can sign a marriage license as "JOP" in California is an active or retired Judge, Commissioner, or Assistant Commissioner of a court of record or Justice Court (some public officials and legislators are empowered to conduct wedding ceremonies; notaries and attorneys are not unless they have an additional credential that allows them to do so.) So check carefully that your "Justice" is in fact an active or retired judge, since a lot of the people out there claiming to be JOPs are in fact "mail-order ministers" who have never served in a court an are, in fact, committing fraud.

This type of fraud is increasingly occurring across the country; you can read about a recent case in Sedona where marriages may be invalidated as a result here, and read my Examiner column on the topic here.

Bear in mind to that if you are contracting privately with a real JOP to conduct your wedding outside of their regular government office hours, this does not guarantee you will receive a non-religious ceremony. Ask if you can review the text of their ceremony in advance to ensure you don't end up having a wedding that includes sentiments you don't want.

Elizabeth Oakes is an ordained Universalist minister who performs both religious and non-religious ceremonies, but not a Justice of the Peace. Ministers must use the title "Minister" when signing your marriage license even if you have a non-religious ceremony. Yes, the license forms are archaic, and we're working on that (so's the ACLU!) Elizabeth Oakes also performs non-religious civil ceremonies as a Deputy Commissioner of Civil Marriage for Los Angeles County; this credential can only be used for weddings conducted in the Clerk's offices or by those who have applied for a special one-day authorization. If you'd like to come in to the County Clerk's office in Norwalk for a civil ceremony with Elizabeth Oakes, please inquire by email about scheduling.


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It's not for lack of trying--by the reality TV producers, I mean.

I get solicited constantly (about every 6-8 weeks or so) by some reality TV company that has a GREAT IDEA!!! for producing a show about me and MarriageToGo. This "idea" is almmost always the same: they want to follow me around with a camera for free, and exploit my work and my clients for their own profit. My answer is always the same: "You're kidding, right?"

Everyone knows Los Angeles is a crazy town, but many are still seduced by the siren call of fame and fortune. That would not be me. I grew up here, I have family members and many friends in The Industry, and I know a little too much about the mechanics of Hollywood business deals to be mesmerized by the prospect of appearing on the small screen. I refuse to surrender my client information to production companies or ask couples to sacrifice the intimacy and authenticity of their nuptials in order to provide me with free airtime. I believe that's unethical and unconscionable. My approach to wedding work doesn't center on making money, it's about serving others as best I can, and I avoid treating this sacred ritual as a commodity to be leveraged for profit like pork bellies.

It's true, there are wedding officiants out there that have enhanced their professional profiles and their bottom lines by appearing on TV. That's fine for them and their idea of what weddings are. I can't in good conscience do it myself, especially when many of these projects are designed to be deliberately cruel and critical to couples for the "entertainment" of others. I don't support such shows, I don't watch them, and I hope that eventually enough Americans will tire of wedding-trash TV and turn the channel to something less snarky and more edifying. I think the product-based and paid-segment wedding shows are just as bad, but that's a topic I'll leave to my Examiner column.

However, all is not lost if you must produce a show about the fascinating world of L.A. weddings incorporating my talents and stories; I'm not stone deaf to all entreaties. I merely require a fair and equitable deal for a scripted series, a executive producer credit (so my percentage and back-end participation are guaranteed), a writing credit if any of my original texts used in the script, and licensing of any of my trademarks or copyrighted materials--you know, like when you're dealing with actual creative professionals, not headhunting amateur talent for cheap?

And yes, just so you know: I am union, and I do know excellent entertainment attorneys who'll review any proposals first. And Uma Thurman has to play me, or else no deal....well, maybe Parker Posey. Check their avail before you call me, huh?


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Of course you can have a man perform your ceremony, but in keeping with our ethics of fairness and social justice we do not refer to other officiants on the basis of gender. We are happy to make recommendations if we cannot provide service at your preferred location or don't possess the language skills, ordination, or other special credentials you need, but since our philosophy is inclusive we feel it's biased to refer merely on the basis of what someone has in their pants (or pantyhose.) We ask that you carefully consider why you feel having a male officiant is important to you, and we sincerely hope that someday soon all traditions will be more tolerant of female voices in spiritual practice.

You shouldn't have a problem finding a male officiant as the majority of clergy and clergy-for-hire are still male, in keeping with the the gender bias of most religions (and politics, and the corporate world...but that's another website.) A Google search or Yellow Pages foray will provide plenty of possibilities.

We wish you good luck with your officiant search and hope we can be of service to you soon.


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Do not confuse proxy marriage with phone marriage--phone marriages are never legal, and notaries and wedding chapels cannot provide marriage licensing for those in custody!! You'll find lots of chapels and notaries that will provide phone marriages and jailhouse weddings if you pay cash--and then they won't return your phone calls or your money when they cannot deliver. Don't be fooled!

Proxy marriage is a legal process whereby a legal representative is appointed to obtain the marriage license and attend the wedding ceremony; in California, proxy marriages are only available to active military personnel and the marriage license must be obtained through a County Clerk's office--not an authorized notary or wedding chapel.

California also allows ill or incarcerated partners to apply for a marriage license through an "Inability To Appear" affidavit; please contact the L.A. County Clerk's office to inquire about correct procedures for Inability to Appear, detention facility weddings, and proxy marriages for active military personnel.

Click here for more information on weddings scams, consumer alerts concerning marriage fraud, and how to report a wedding chapel or notary scam.


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